Capable of All Things

Personal experience with white-washing stands out. During an exchange with a high school cheerleading squad mate. My friend expressed that she had made a statement during another conversation, explaining,

I don’t even think of her as black.

That was an insult to me and pivotal first lesson of how to socially assert myself. I am proud to be an African-American/Black woman. And need the recognition from people to know that as my experience, but don’t want anyone to judge me for it. I said to her,

I need you to see that I am Black. Because that is what I’m proud of. If you don’t see that, I’m doing something wrong.

I went to a predominantly white highschool. An experience that strongly influenced me to attend an HBCU for my undergrad degree before my Rutgers Master’s program. First and foremost, I think it’s important that my kids learn how to represent themselves. But in every aspect of representation, it all boils down to the choices that you make, because those choices can have a strong impact and influence on the collective self-respect of a people to aim high and not settle into stereotyped expectations.

My most powerful influence on my children as a mother is building their confidence, believing in themselves, and knowing they are capable of all things.

For my daughter, I focus on messages of self-awareness and worth. It is a constant affirmation I instill upon her to know that she is capable of greatness.

For my son, it’s important that I teach him that girls deserve equal footing and should have equal opportunities for greatness. I strongly enforce that “Girls can’t do…” phrasing is not allowed in my household. My son plays flag football. My daughter wanted to play, so she plays flag football, too.

I want my kids to know that being an American means many things. Pride of country. Everyone is equal. No one is better than anyone.

Historically, POC have had many social and racial injustices, but despite them, as a people, we are discovering and allowing ourselves to understand that our opportunities are limitless. If we strive for our very best, as we’ve inherently always had the instinct to do, we will be rewarded. We require more models and support systems to show each other how to achieve greatness and how to allow ourselves the ownership of our amazing gifts.

I was very proud to have children that were born under the Obama administration. My kids will never know of a time when an African-American could not be President.

For my daughter, we are confident that she will experience the country’s first woman president, as well. And she will know that, that is also attainable for her potential and capacity for greatness if she so chooses. I am very proud of the choices that they make. This model of behavior and how to make the wisest choice begins in the home.

I am very proud to be an American. This is the land of great opportunities. Great strides have been made. As a woman there are areas of improvement needed, as well as for African Americans. But we will get there. Wouldn’t change my nationality for anything. I am American. POC or not, I am an American.

If everyone would see everyone as being American, a lot more greatness would be had.

You Raise. We Rise.

Interviewed on 1.3.18 Patricia Motley, wife and mother, born and raised in New Jersey. Patricia has always had a passion for helping others. She received her undergraduate degree from Lincoln University in Pennsylvania, then pursued her Master’s degree at Rutgers Graduate School of Social Work. Patricia has worked in many social work areas, including: child protective services; working with elderly Veterans; and as a School Social Worker. Patricia posts regularly on her blog Never Balanced, Always Fulfilled.